Like stated in Why Having a Child Was a Good Call (Part 1), which of us, after having a child, didn’t get tired of hearing from those without kids that their life is so much better? And again, the sappy, “snuggles and kisses” ARE NOT on here…even though they’re better than any all-night binger, after meeting a new person on a dating website who is more attractive than yourself. So here’s the second list of reasons why having a child was a great idea!
Prove to People It’s Not Hard
C’mon, you got this! Sure, juggling your schedule, making sure that another human life is always safe, balancing sanity in the midst of insanity, and having to improvise everything on the go may not be the simplest thing in the world but making it look easy is what we do best…especially to those who don’t have kids.
Excuse to Collect Toys & Video Games
Tired of how lame toys are these days? Think that toys today leave no room for imagination? Think video games today are too complicated for little ones to jump into? When all said and done you need to teach them a history lesson so go out and buy your old toys and video games from when you were a kid so that you can show them what REAL toys and games look like. And remember, it’s for a history lesson (*wink*).
Someone to Blame
You just bought an entire bag of Twix Fun Size candy bars and before you know it all the fun is over and you’re left wallowing in your disgust. Don’t fret, you don’t need your other half to know you did something you regret. Blame the kid. Look, it’s only fair because you know they’re going to do the same thing to you at some point. If you really want to make it convincing, smear some melted chocolate around the little one’s mouth while they’re sleeping. Want bonus points? Smear it around your other half’s mouth while they’re sleeping too, take a picture of it, and post it to Daddy Mind Trick’s Facebook page. I dare you!
Is the Goblin King Real?
You know there’s a small part of you that always wanted to know if Jareth, the Goblin King from Labyrinth, is real. So the next time when you’re woken up in the middle of the night by a screaming child (perhaps yours but perhaps someone else’s instead), and you can see on the video monitor that they’re legitimately ok, go ahead and say those exact eleven words, “I WISH THE GOBLINS WOULD COME TAKE YOU AWAY RIGHT NOW,” then go back to sleep because you’re going to need your rest if you plan on making it through the Labyrinth in time to fix your mistake.
Learn About Yourself
This one is hit or miss. You can easily learn that you’re the most handsome, intelligent, magician that has ever graced the planet…but that’s on a good day. On the bad days, be careful, because you can realize that your fuse is way shorter than you knew, that your intensity and hyperactivity is a genetic trait that you passed down to your seedling, and that you are at times a, “Big poo-poo head.”
Let us know in the comments below if you have any reasons to add that we could use for future installments (we will add a shout-out attached of course).